Matters for Men and The Nature of Men: Elements of Masculine Psychology by John Ashfield Ph. D.
Reviewed by Denis Bunbury 

 If I didn’t read much that was new to me in these two books, I did consider them timely reminders of the pathways to men’s health.

Matters for Men is a short book full of sage suggestions a man might take to heart and put into action.  Most chapters are one and a half to two pages, and can be read in a couple of minutes. 

Chapter headings include “Unzipping the truth about impotence”, “You don’t have to live with an anxiety problem”, “Relationships… No longer just Women’s business”; “Letting men grieve as men”, “Becoming a first-time father”.

John Ashfield is strong on the importance of men mentoring men.  In as far as this can be accomplished through a book, these pages do a good job of providing comments that are both practical and sustaining.  If I were prone to over-achieving, or confused about what success means, for example, I could profit from reaching several times for the chapter on “The true measure of a man’s success”.  In this way the text functions not only as information, but also as a kind of meditation and guide to keep my action and attitudes on track.

In The Nature of Men: Elements of Masculine Psychology, Ashfield is more theoretical, identifying key issues that affect men’s health, and suggesting a way forward.

The first paragraph of his prologue announces his perspective:

For decades the message we have been getting about men is that, compared to women, they are emotionally underdeveloped, deficient, or at lest, inept. Women’s ways of relating, viewing the world, and conducting their emotional lives have been held up as a model for men to adopt. (Pg 9.)

Part One of his book is therefore about acknowledging and understanding gender difference.  Men, he says, are much more likely to exhibit their emotional experiences in terms that are action orientated.  Because of the way reality is constructed in the male brain, there is less emphasis on language, and greater preference for action metaphors as a means of describing feelings.

In contrast, women, because of the way their brain functions, prefer linguistic constructions of reality, and so will most often use verbal expression to represent their experience.

Both ways have their strengths and drawbacks, and Ashfield asserts that one is not superior to the other.  Rational consideration of these gender phenomena must lead us to the conclusion that masculinity represents “not deficiency, (but) instead real and important difference; nor the much publicised male … ineptitude, (but) rather a largely biologically determined and culturally demanded aptitude”  (pg 12.)

I particularly liked John Ashfield’s observation (pg 42) that “In an emotionally safe environment men may well cry tears, and that is good.  But more likely they will need to cry out, expressing their feelings through strength of action”.  This corresponds with my own experience of establishing rapport with distressed men, by mirroring in language the significance of actions they report.

Part Two of The Nature of Men sets out Ashfield’s ideal of Manhood and some ideas on how this can be achieved.  Included are lists of positive qualities contrasted with their immature look-alikes.  Again there is nothing that I could see as new, but I liked the clarity and firmness with which the ideals are expressed and evaluated.

No list of qualities, however desirable or cogent, of itself brings change.  Only men living these qualities provide the impetus and modelling that suggests other men, including young men and boys, into living this maturity.

I would have liked to see more about the need to “descend”.  Maturity is not just about reaching upward to enlightened ideals.  It’s also about journeying downward to encounter my limitation, finiteness, my being bounded by time and space, my mistakes, and my grievings.  And learning to experience the paradoxical uplifting that comes with descent.  As Fyodor Dostoyevsky once said:  “If you want to have power, bend down and pick it up!”

The Nature of Men is not without some references to descending, but I would have liked to see them strengthened.

John Ashfield’s work is an encouragement to men to be proud of their Manhood, and a timely reminder, based on relevant research, of the importance of masculinity for the health and welfare of our community.

John Ashfield is currently engaged in developing and coordinating mental health and men’s health initiatives in regional South Australia