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International Freedom from Self-Improvement Day
by Sarah Frayne
 
I almost dare not admit that I enjoyed the concept of this day – a movement for taking just one day out of life where we bury the “shoulds”, take a break from the “if onlys” and for one day at least celebrate the way we are…just as we are……right at this moment.

Jennifer Louden the “creator” of International Freedom from Self-Improvement Day puts it….

Ever since I learned of International Talk like a Pirate Day (September 19th), I’ve wanted to create a holiday that felt as fun.

Sitting in meditation one day, the idea came to me: what if we all collectively gave up on being any different than we are, just for 24 hours? What a perfect holiday for a “me” to create?

After all, I’m the perfect paradox: my mission in life is to help people feel how perfectly okay they are and I constantly struggle with evaluating myself for everything I’m not doing or didn’t do right.

I hope you’ll celebrate with me and invite all your most self-critical and hard working friends to join in………. Can you feel the lightness?”

Now Talk Like a Pirate day – that’s something I could really get into J………but in the meantime here are some thoughts from Jennifer’s website....

    • Because there is no “secret.”

    • Because it’s time to challenge the belief that if we “could only” change our partner, our dress size, our job or if we could only meditate more deeply or express ourselves more creatively then — and only then — we’d finally grasp that gold ring called “Happiness” or “Peace” or “Enlightenment.”

      • Because we’re tired of “shoulding” all over ourselves (and everyone else, too).

      • Because we know, deep down inside, that we already have everything we need right now, exactly as we are, and that accepting ourselves moment by moment, over and over again, is the fastest, cheapest and actually only way to ever be truly at peace, happy, and content.

      Now the problem is we’ve missed the day (it was in May)….. “if only” I had found the article earlier because I “should” have sent this in last months e-newsletter, ……but wait……somehow I think I am missing the point…there is always next year.

      In the meantime there are some interesting stories and blog entries on the Freedom from self improvement day website (http://www.freedomfromselfimprovement.com/) - an edited excerpt of one such entry is below......

       

      HAVE AN AVERAGE DAY!

      I was talking to my friend and mentor Steve Chandler once when he said to me, “Have an average day!” A bit taken aback, I asked him what he meant. After all, isn’t the idea to have “great” days, or even “exceptional” ones?

      He then told me the story of one of his mentors, a man named Lyndon Duke who studied something called “the linguistics of suicide”. After receiving a doctorate from two separate universities, Duke began analyzing suicide notes to look for linguistic clues which could be used to predict and prevent suicidal behavior in teenagers.

      What he learned was startling - that the enemy of happiness was what he called “the curse of exceptionality”. In a world where everyone is trying to be exceptional, two things happen. The first is that nearly everyone fails, because by definition if too many people become exceptional, the exceptional becomes commonplace. The second is that those few who do succeed feel even more isolated and estranged from their peers than before.

      Consequently you have a few people feeling envied, misunderstood and alone and tens of thousands of others feeling like failures for not being “enough” - “good enough”, “special enough”, “rich enough” or even “happy enough.”

      And this is the paradoxical promise of the “average day” philosophy - the cumulative effect of a series of average days spent doing an average amount of what one loves and wants to do is actually quite extraordinary.

      Let’s put this thought together with another one of Duke’s discoveries - that many of the young people he studied felt as though their lives had no meaning and made no difference to the world or anyone in it.

      As a practical philosopher, he realized that the meaning of our lives actually comes from the differences we make with them. And that those differences need not be huge to be profound in their impact on both ourselves and others.

      http://www.freedomfromselfimprovement.com/

       
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