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On the 20th May the alarm on my mobile phone wrestled me from sleep at 5.00am. Momentary crisis – no idea what’s happening, who is calling. Then it dawned on me...today I’m off to the deep interior of Taranaki and a farming community in the shadow of that maunga (mountain) also called Taranaki. The purpose...a Lifeline sponsored training for Victim Support staff and agencies about the complexities and challenges of suicide bereavement for those left behind.
Nettie Cullen, one of Lifeline’s ASIST (Applied Suicide Intervention Skills Training) facilitators and I had met on several occasions to plan the day and both of us were feeling nervous and excited at the same time – Nettie because she would be facilitating the day and myself because, well, project management springs all kinds of surprises. Nevertheless Nettie and I were confident that we had the outline of a successful day in the bag. We had asked Victim Support what they were looking for and set out to provide the content and material that would meet the needs of agencies in Taranaki that are seeking to provide a catalyst for meaningful change and growth for those bereaved by the suicide of a loved one.
So off I went to pick up Nettie before making a beeline for the airport and New Plymouth. Once we arrived, we grabbed a well-deserved coffee (and a not so well-deserved date scone) before rolling down a Taranaki country road in pursuit of Victim Support South Taranaki and the Hawera District Council rooms.
The day flowed extremely well with some thoughtful content and preparation on Nettie’s behalf. One quote I remember...”it was over for him! For me, my husband and for my family it was just the beginning...”Iris Bolton (1987). What followed was an effective presentation into the psycho-social situation of those bereaved, their changing needs over time and the place of caring agencies and crisis counselling in a complex process of empowerment. Probably the most meaningful part of the day for many was the work we facilitated around setting up a support groups. This was what over half of the participants were seeking in an effort to address the needs of a grieving rural community struggling with a number of suicides in recent months.
A group from Suicide Prevention Project in New Plymouth with firsthand experience of effective bereavement support groups shared eagerly and generously like a tuakana (older brother) there to support the fledgling efforts of his younger brother (teina) to the South. The day concluded with a kaupapa (road map) for the development of a bereavement support group in Hawera to serve the needs of the wider South Taranaki community. Later that night as we flew up into the dark grey Taranaki skiesbound for Auckland, Nettie and I knew we had provided an important catalyst for hope and healing in a grieving farming community.
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